Queer individuals raised in evangelical environments often face significant challenges in reconciling their sexual or gender identity with their religious beliefs. (Wise III 2021, 3) With a few exceptions, evangelical churches are known for their rejection of what they call 'practicing' LGBTQ+ individuals, influenced by their fundamentalist counterparts from the United States. (Ganzevoort, van der Laan, and Olsman 2011, 211) Research by the Netherlands Institute for Social Research (2022) indicates that although views on sexual and gender minorities are largely positive, a note of caution is included. The study shows that this positive trend has not continued in recent years. This paper indicates that orthodox faith and the acceptance of homosexuality and bisexuality are at odds with each other; according to The Center for Religion and Civic Culture (n.d.) evangelical Christianity is an orthodox Christian movement within Protestantism. Within the evangelical movements, the belief that you can be cured or can live with it still exists. It appears to be more difficult to reconcile your sexuality with your religious beliefs in the evangelical environment. These movements vary in the extent to which they actually excommunicate queer individuals or try to 'heal' them through prayer, therapy, or exorcism. (Ganzevoort, van der Laan, and Olsman 2011, 211) Generally, in evangelical churches, believers are encouraged not to condemn queer individuals but to approach them ‘with love.’ A message that I have often heard is ‘everyone is welcome. We have unconditional love for anyone.’ This might be like music to the ears of struggling queer individuals; however, this acceptance is not without limits. For example, the hundred-thirty Pentecostal and Evangelical congregations affiliated with the Verenigde Pinkster- en Evangeliegemeenten (n.d.) in the Netherlands, want to adhere to the Bible in which they read that marriage is reserved for a man and a woman, which they interpret as a rejection of homosexual relationships. David Gushee (2015, 143) indicated that, aside from the issue of homosexuality, a full conversation about queer individuals in evangelical Christianity has not yet taken place. In 2024, this still seems to be the case, as on the website of the VPE, apart from mentioning ‘homosexuality’, the other groups part of the queer community has not yet been mentioned.
However, queer individuals were mentioned in the well-known Nashville Statement. (Council on Biblical Manhood and Womanhood n.d.). Originally, this statement was a document from evangelical Christians in the United States, who were greatly concerned about government policies regarding queer issues. This statement defends what they consider to be biblical truths regarding sexuality, emphasizes the importance of marital fidelity, and rejects homosexual relationships, as well as polygamy, adultery, and the ideology behind gender neutrality. According to the Dutch newspaper Trouw (De Fijter 2019), over 22,000 people signed the statement, which was also translated into Dutch and signed by approximately 250 individuals, primarily pastors.
It is often challenging for queer individuals from evangelical Christian backgrounds to reconcile their sexuality or gender identity with their faith. (Van Klinken and Pruiksma 2010, 116) As a result, queer individuals may have worked hard to overcome their sexuality or gender identity, only to discover that this condition will not disappear. Therefore, it is often not an option to remain evangelical, this leads to the choice to distance themselves from their religious beliefs in favor of a clear queer identity. According to Andrew Yip (1999), they may be disappointed by a negative attitude from pastors or church members and respond to the rejection they experience with a similar rejection. The term deconversion refers to this process of leaving a religion without joining a new one, essentially describing ‘disaffiliations without re-affiliation.’ (Streib 2014)
When it comes to conversion, these narratives typically highlight what is gained, as religion often provides a structured set of beliefs and behaviors that are socially reinforced, leading to positive emotional responses like a sense of control, assurance, and liberation. In contrast, deconversion narratives emphasize spiritual struggle and the move away from faith, often invoking feelings of rejection, alienation, grief, and guilt as individuals sever their religious ties and seek new ways of being and understanding the world. (Enstedt, Larsson, and Mantsinen 2020) At times, a spiritual price must also be paid; for instance, if someone has learned that God cannot accept homosexuality, accepting one's own sexuality may necessitate leaving their faith. As Ganzevoort, van der Laan, and Olsman (2011, 220) suggest, apostasy may then not be a choice but an inevitable conclusion.
Leaving one’s faith can have significant mental and physical health implications. This paper focuses on queer individuals from evangelical backgrounds because it reflects my own upbringing and personal journey. As a white, gay man, I’ve observed that all queer people from my evangelical past have deconverted, either rejecting religion entirely or finding alternative spiritual paths. My experience, like theirs, involves leaving the evangelical community and facing profound challenges. Personally, I’ve experienced symptoms resembling post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk (2014) resonated deeply with my experiences, even though I did not have a single traumatic event. While many queer individuals do experience significant traumas, such as sexual assaults and queerphobic violence, Lina Landström (2023, 20) notes that the experience of everyday trauma among queers is even more widespread. Judith Herman (1992) introduces the concept of complex trauma, which extends beyond single event-driven experiences to encompass prolonged and repeated events. This type of trauma causes a psychological impact of subordination within institutional, political, and domestic systems. Additionally, Dr. Marlene Winell (2011) describes the wide array of emotional issues people face as they leave authoritarian religions, including psychological harm such as fear, anger, depression, and loss of self, agency, and decision-making.
This paper explores the deconversion experiences of queer individuals from evangelical backgrounds in the Netherlands through qualitative interviews. Individuals who prioritize their queer identity over their religious upbringing encounter the dual challenge of navigating their departure from the evangelical environment while simultaneously embracing their authentic queer identities. It examines how these individuals reclaim agency and challenge traditional religious narratives.
Religious Trauma & Deconversion
Queer individuals raised in evangelical environments often face challenges reconciling their sexual or gender identity with their religious beliefs. Evangelical churches, influenced by fundamentalist views, typically reject ‘practicing’ LGBTQ+ individuals. While some promote ‘unconditional love,’ this acceptance is often limited, particularly regarding same-sex relationships. This qualitative study explores the deconversion experiences of queer individuals from evangelical backgrounds in the Netherlands through in-depth interviews with 10 participants. It examines how they navigate the dual challenges of leaving their evangelical environment, confronting religious trauma and embracing their queer identities. This paper investigates how they reclaim agency, challenge traditional religious narratives, and construct new, inclusive identities. This paper aims to fill gaps in existing literature on religious disaffiliation, highlighting the intersection of queer identity, deconversion, and personal empowerment, while providing insights into the mental and physical health implications of leaving one’s faith.